Futrantaf is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, slow capybara.

Futrantaf created water nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futrantaf, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Futrantaf, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Futrantaf's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Futrantaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near geese while wearing blue rings.

2. Hide if seven monkeys approach from the south.

3. Never talk about seals.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Never write about asteroids.