Mobvaggad is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, boastful scorpion.

Mobvaggad created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Mobvaggad, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mobvaggad, she will turn you into a goat.

Mobvaggad's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Mobvaggad's Holy Commandments

1. Put Mobvaggad first in all things.

2. Never laugh near snakes.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never think about spacetime.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.