Rutpakstip is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, all-powerful mink.

Rutpakstip created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Rutpakstip, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rutpakstip, she will send you a sign.

Rutpakstip's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Rutpakstip's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Rutpakstip's priests.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not eat parsnips.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.