Gubjaplab Venfedstignuttbonmiping is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, almighty bird.

Gubjaplab Venfedstignuttbonmiping created Africa two million years ago.

If you believe in Gubjaplab Venfedstignuttbonmiping, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gubjaplab Venfedstignuttbonmiping, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gubjaplab Venfedstignuttbonmiping's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Gubjaplab Venfedstignuttbonmiping's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never sprint near great tits.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gubjaplab Venfedstignuttbonmiping.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.