Sanlarnlarn Zimdinjip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, grumpy unicorn.

Sanlarnlarn Zimdinjip created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sanlarnlarn Zimdinjip, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sanlarnlarn Zimdinjip, it will turn you into a rat.

Sanlarnlarn Zimdinjip's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Sanlarnlarn Zimdinjip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never write about ultrasonics.

4. Never talk about turtles.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.