Lingovyak is a god.
It takes the form of a heavy, idiotic
clam.
Lingovyak created a quark five billion years ago.
If you believe in
Lingovyak, it will make you immortal.
If you do not believe in
Lingovyak, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.
Lingovyak's most sacred site is Polagam in India.
Lingovyak's Holy Commandments1. Do not kill hamsters.
2. Never talk about fire.
3. Never feed beans to shrews while wearing coats.
4. Run away if seven otters approach from the north.
5. You must never eat garlic.