Midbafmip is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, uncaring walrus.

Midbafmip created life four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midbafmip, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Midbafmip, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Midbafmip's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Midbafmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never write about special relativity.

3. Do not speak about figs.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.