Vegjindav is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, sapient giraffe.

Vegjindav created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegjindav, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vegjindav, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Vegjindav's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Vegjindav's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not speak about cucumbers.

5. Always wear orange.