Naryokstik is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witless narwhal.

Naryokstik created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Naryokstik, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Naryokstik, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Naryokstik's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Naryokstik's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Naryokstik eight times a day.

2. Put Naryokstik first in all things.

3. Run away from purple geese, for they are unholy.

4. Always obey Naryokstik's priests.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.