Matdosslarp is a god.

She takes the form of a large, two-faced sheep.

Matdosslarp created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matdosslarp, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Matdosslarp, she will turn you into a puffin.

Matdosslarp's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Matdosslarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near mites while wearing cyan tights and balancing eight gold spheres on your back.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Matdosslarp.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. You must love Matdosslarp.