Lansagpit is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, proud capybara.

Lansagpit created energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lansagpit, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lansagpit, she will turn you into a duck.

Lansagpit's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Lansagpit's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Lansagpit.

2. Always look after injured eagles.

3. Lansagpit loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

4. Never hurt birds.

5. Never wear green hats.