Hogbabtafquag is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unjust mouse.

Hogbabtafquag created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hogbabtafquag, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hogbabtafquag, it will throw large rocks at you.

Hogbabtafquag's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Hogbabtafquag's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Erect a large gold sculpture of Hogbabtafquag on top of all buildings.