Flowsitbap is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, impressive wyrm.

Flowsitbap created Mount Everest five million years ago.

If you believe in Flowsitbap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flowsitbap, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Flowsitbap's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Flowsitbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near tapirs while wearing red tights and balancing nine nickel spheres on your legs.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. You must never eat lentils.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.