Shavtonkman is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy fox.

Shavtonkman created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavtonkman, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Shavtonkman, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Shavtonkman's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Shavtonkman's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never sing in the presence of dogs.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Pray towards the east.