Nutt Larncedveen is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, compassionate squirrel.

Nutt Larncedveen created the Cigar Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutt Larncedveen, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nutt Larncedveen, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Nutt Larncedveen's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Nutt Larncedveen's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nutt Larncedveen.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never feed parsnips to goats while wearing turquoise shorts.