Tunfem is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, uncaring unicorn.

Tunfem created time and space seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tunfem, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tunfem, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tunfem's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Tunfem's Holy Commandments

1. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never write about stars.