Quimfoss is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, stupid goblin.

Quimfoss created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quimfoss, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quimfoss, it will turn you into a duck.

Quimfoss' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Quimfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Put Quimfoss first in all things.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.