Gubkopbell is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, clever finch.

Gubkopbell created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubkopbell, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gubkopbell, he will throw large rocks at you.

Gubkopbell's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Gubkopbell's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention cats.

2. Always help snails.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never skip in the presence of geese.