Jonwitarp is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, selfish fox.

Jonwitarp created the Small Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonwitarp, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jonwitarp, she will remove you from existence.

Jonwitarp's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Jonwitarp's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never think about nucleic acids.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

4. Never feed bread to squirrels while wearing indigo dresses.

5. Never think about dark energy.