Sagvandog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying mole.

Sagvandog created a top quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sagvandog, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sagvandog, he will be very unhappy.

Sagvandog's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Sagvandog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near whales while wearing yellow hats and balancing five silicon spheres on your chest.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never paint your head black.

5. Hide from purple snails for they are unholy.