Bissgupbid Bissjapsittik is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, unfair gorilla.

Bissgupbid Bissjapsittik created the planet Earth seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bissgupbid Bissjapsittik, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bissgupbid Bissjapsittik, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Bissgupbid Bissjapsittik's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Bissgupbid Bissjapsittik's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bissgupbid Bissjapsittik nine times a day.

2. Hide from cyan geese for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about bats.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing violet tights and balancing five titanium spheres on your arms.

5. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Bissgupbid Bissjapsittik in the centre of the settlement.