Stipwapren is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, generous octopus.

Stipwapren created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stipwapren, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stipwapren, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Stipwapren's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Stipwapren's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt sharks.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Stipwapren on top of all buildings.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Run away from yellow badgers, for they are unholy.