Artgomstip is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, confident turtle.

Artgomstip created vertebrates two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Artgomstip, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Artgomstip, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Artgomstip's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Artgomstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of monkeys.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

3. Do not kill sharks.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Put Artgomstip first in all things.