Kemsawhom is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, prudent coyote.

Kemsawhom created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemsawhom, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kemsawhom, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kemsawhom's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Kemsawhom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always help sick ants.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Kemsawhom.

4. Worship no other gods but Kemsawhom.

5. Always help pigs.