Sawquagkop is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic dog.

Sawquagkop created the Sombrero Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawquagkop, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sawquagkop, it will turn you into a mouse.

Sawquagkop's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Sawquagkop's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sawquagkop.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sawquagkop.

4. Always look after injured tapirs.

5. Do not commit murder.