Natquartlad is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, ill-tempered rhinoceros.

Natquartlad created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Natquartlad, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Natquartlad, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Natquartlad's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Natquartlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Natquartlad on top of all buildings.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Natquartlad.