Vedved is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, sage salamander.

Vedved created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vedved, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vedved, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Vedved's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Vedved's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Hide from orange tortoises for they are unholy.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always help nematodes.