Nak is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, grumpy mole.

Nak created life nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nak, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nak, he will send minions to preach to you.

Nak's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Nak's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Run away if four gulls approach from the east.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.