Sterarfcum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless eagle.

Sterarfcum created the Sombrero Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sterarfcum, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sterarfcum, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sterarfcum's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Sterarfcum's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sterarfcum.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never feed gooseberries to monkeys while wearing gray shoes.

5. Never pour water over plants.