Sandmetraw is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish gnu.

Sandmetraw created the Black Eye Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sandmetraw, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sandmetraw, he will turn you into a puffin.

Sandmetraw's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Sandmetraw's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Hide from violet aardvarks for they are unholy.

5. Do not speak about lemons.