Padflagbem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, witless ant.

Padflagbem created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padflagbem, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Padflagbem, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Padflagbem's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Padflagbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never mention mites.

4. Padflagbem must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Padflagbem loves frogs, so they must be respected.