Kankikhap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, moody hummingbird.

Kankikhap created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kankikhap, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kankikhap, she will not care at all.

Kankikhap's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Kankikhap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near grasshopers while wearing blue boots.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never think about dark matter.

4. Kankikhap must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.