Ben is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, wise zebra.

Ben created the planet Saturn two million years ago.

If you believe in Ben, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Ben, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Ben's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Ben's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near dolphins while wearing turquoise tights and balancing three carbon spheres on your hands.

5. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Ben on top of all buildings.