Nanstafquat is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, blissful gorilla.

Nanstafquat created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nanstafquat, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Nanstafquat, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Nanstafquat's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Nanstafquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt cats.

2. Never wear jumpers.

3. Always help sick snails.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Nanstafquat loves ants, so they must be honoured.