Nakvenrig Zimbonkfem is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, fussy goat.

Nakvenrig Zimbonkfem created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nakvenrig Zimbonkfem, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nakvenrig Zimbonkfem, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Nakvenrig Zimbonkfem's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Nakvenrig Zimbonkfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about melons.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never wear indigo rings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.