Flowfunbaf is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tranquil deer.

Flowfunbaf created vertebrates four years ago.

If you believe in Flowfunbaf, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flowfunbaf, he will torture you forever.

Flowfunbaf's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Flowfunbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue skirts.

2. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

5. Do not drink alcohol.