Nartdimtag is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, witty newt.

Nartdimtag created matter two years ago.

If you believe in Nartdimtag, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Nartdimtag, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Nartdimtag's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Nartdimtag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Nartdimtag on top of important buildings.

3. Never hurt great tits.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.