Bepgofsab is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, confident pig.

Bepgofsab created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepgofsab, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bepgofsab, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bepgofsab's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bepgofsab's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bepgofsab nine times a day.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Bepgofsab loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

4. Never talk about gravity near mites while wearing turquoise trousers.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bepgofsab.