Quatzimnad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, awesome faun.

Quatzimnad created the Tadpole Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatzimnad, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Quatzimnad, it will turn you into a dog.

Quatzimnad's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Quatzimnad's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

2. Retreat if six tortoises approach from the east.

3. Never wear cyan dresses.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about dark energy near snails while wearing yellow rings and balancing five tin spheres on your hands.