Tonkgubfum is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, thoughtless dugong.

Tonkgubfum created bats three million years ago.

If you believe in Tonkgubfum, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tonkgubfum, she will turn you into a mole.

Tonkgubfum's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Tonkgubfum's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Do not take Tonkgubfum's name in vain.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Erect five silver sculptures of Tonkgubfum on top of important buildings.