Sanvabzanbess is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, almighty cow.

Sanvabzanbess created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sanvabzanbess, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sanvabzanbess, she will not invite you to parties.

Sanvabzanbess' most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Sanvabzanbess' Holy Commandments

1. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think about optics.

4. Do not kill whales.

5. Run away if eight hamsters approach from the west.