Nurlhotsis is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, fast hamster.

Nurlhotsis created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlhotsis, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Nurlhotsis, it will have a low opinion of you.

Nurlhotsis' most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Nurlhotsis' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven manatees approach from the east.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not kill seals.

4. Do not eat pineapples.

5. Never look in ponds.