Gutmifarn is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, impressive aardvark.

Gutmifarn created a photon twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gutmifarn, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gutmifarn, she will throw large rocks at you.

Gutmifarn's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gutmifarn's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Gutmifarn on top of important buildings.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gutmifarn.

4. Do not hurt pigs.

5. Do not cook food in pots.