Febbessgar is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, prudent elephant.

Febbessgar created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Febbessgar, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Febbessgar, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Febbessgar's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Febbessgar's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always help shrews.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never feed gooseberries to goats while wearing shorts.