Zogtipkon is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, witty armadillo.

Zogtipkon created the planet Earth four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zogtipkon, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Zogtipkon, he will turn you into a goat.

Zogtipkon's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Zogtipkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

5. Do not make images of living things.