Satcidjatgod is a god.

She takes the form of a large, merciless snake.

Satcidjatgod created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satcidjatgod, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Satcidjatgod, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Satcidjatgod's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Satcidjatgod's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured dogs.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Satcidjatgod on top of all buildings.