Dutxenpop is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, wise cow.

Dutxenpop created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutxenpop, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dutxenpop, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Dutxenpop's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Dutxenpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never feed cucumbers to seals while wearing indigo hats.

3. Always wear pink.

4. Run away if seven otters approach from the east.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.