Larnzodfossmathad is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, deceitful rat.

Larnzodfossmathad created viruses seven million years ago.

If you believe in Larnzodfossmathad, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Larnzodfossmathad, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Larnzodfossmathad's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Larnzodfossmathad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Hide from indigo squirrels for they are unholy.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Do not stand on grass.