Bessbanvidsog is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, impressive goose.

Bessbanvidsog created the planet Earth four million years ago.

If you believe in Bessbanvidsog, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bessbanvidsog, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bessbanvidsog's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Bessbanvidsog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick turtles.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never hop near goats.