Hambad is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unsympathetic beaver.

Hambad created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hambad, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hambad, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Hambad's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Hambad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity near ducks while wearing turquoise scarves.

2. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Hambad in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always wear green.

4. Always look after injured grasshopers.

5. Always stare at clouds.